From Blaming to Blessings
It can be wonderful to be a victim.  First of all, I get to be right. I am misunderstood, mistreated, and miserable, but at least I know I’m right. I’m in pain, but my pain is at least a little bit satisfying. The end all and be all for life’s perpetual victims is self righteousness–being the one who is right, good, or special. I get to be the star of my own drama.

Second, if I’m really suffering you can’t expect much from me. As the suffering one, I should be appreciated, treated special, or helped. You can’t expect me to put out too much energy for others in this condition. You can’t expect me to do much for myself.

I feel a deep compassion whenever I see someone suffering.
Compassion is not pity. It is a deep respect and understanding for the person and where they are on their journey in life. I know what it feels like to suffer. It is through my own suffering that I have learned where my suffering comes from. It comes from within me.

Most people in the world blame someone or something for their suffering. The payoff for blaming is self justification and innocence. This does not mean that suffering isn’t painful. It is. It means that we will not find release by blaming anything or anyone. We must follow our pain inward to its source.

Whenever I expect a person or situation to provide me with healing, joy, or wealth, I am setting myself up for suffering. No external person or thing can make me happy.
Creating happiness is an inside job, regardless of what my life conditions may be.

As an organizational consultant and speaker, people often tell me how others make their lives miserable. Everyone has their story, and often I get two diametrically opposed accounts of the same event. A lot of blaming and self justification goes on in many organizations. My message is to move beyond blaming and to take personal responsibility for one’s relationships.  I ask people to start being the person they want to be at work, instead of who they think they are forced to be.

Blaming is a denial of who you are. Do you know who you are? You are an incredible being of light, a powerful expression of Spirit. You have a mission to create beauty, joy, and peace in your own unique way. You are so powerful that you create your own circumstances. Blaming is a way of pretending you are not powerful. Blaming gives your power away to someone else. Blaming says that this person, or this situation is the source of your good, not the Creative Intelligence of the Universe.

Many people blame the economy for their financial state.
The economy is irrelevant if you know who you are. Your abundance does not come from the economy. Your source of good is not your job, your spouse, the government, or your customers. Your source is within you. It is your ability to connect with Spirit. Blaming is a way of pretending you are not your own source.

A while back I experienced a slow down in my business and income. People told me it was the economy, but I refused to believe it. I knew it had to be me. I asked for guidance in prayer. One morning as I meditated I received my answer. I realized I was filled with resentment. I resented certain others who I felt had not supported me as much as I wanted.
Of course, I believed I had been very supportive to them.
My resentment sent a message to the Universe that said, "I can’t succeed until I get their support. If I succeed they will never know how much pain I suffered not having their support."

I was grateful for the message. To make sure I got the message, Spirit provided yet another opportunity. Later that day while channel surfing, I came upon Dr. Wayne Dyer on PBS. He was talking about resentment. He said it was a low energy and it blocked out God. I got the message. I made a decision to stop resenting. I let go of my need to have specific people support me in specific ways. I immediately felt a sense of joy and freedom as I released my burden of resentment.

As soon as I stopped resenting, the suffering it brought stopped also. Suddenly, the people in my life who I had resented seemed to change. They seemed more approachable, more love worthy, rather than blame worthy. I saw how much my underlying attitude of resentment had caused me to withhold love and support from others. It felt good to let go and be more responsive. And yes, business did pick up immediately.

Blaming, resentment, and suffering ooze out of the gap between how a situation is and how we want it to be. We see this gap and attach meaning to it. I want you to love me a certain way. You don’t. I think this means I am unworthy, or that you are a bad person, or that somehow I can’t be happy. In reality your inability to love me means nothing.
The meaning I give to it is what causes me suffering. It causes me to resent and to blame.

Suffering is eased when I accept you the way you are, whether you love me or not. Suffering is eased when I accept myself as I am. Suffering is eased when I realize that the source of my love is within me. I am sustained by the love of Spirit, surrounded by it. As I rejoice in this knowing, love manifests in ways and from people that I could not predict. As I stop focusing on all of my gaps in life, and begin to focus on who and what I am–a spiritual being, the creator of my own experience, the source of my own joy, a spark of the Divine–I experience freedom and joy. There is nothing to resent, no one to blame, and no reason to suffer. As I give my love more passionately and openly to self, to others, and to life, I am showered with blessings. I stop coming from a place of need, and I become a light.

—————————————————-
William Frank Diedrich is a keynote speaker and the author of The Road Home: The Journey Beyond the Spiritual Quick Fix,  30 Days to Prosperity: A Workbook for Well Being, and Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations. To learn more about Bill, his books, and his services, go to http://www.transformativepress.com or to http://noblaming.com

Learn How To French Kiss

By Zoe Porter

There are many people out there very nervous about the first date that would make great efforts to work things the best way they can. One of the most intimate first contacts that may give you butterflies in the stomach is kissing. Here are some tips that will help you learn how to French kiss and make a stunning impression on your date.

French kissing is the one to unhinge passions, so be sure of what you’re doing, and start softly with gentle pecks and tongue-free kisses until you get to know your partner a little better. There are books from where to learn how to French kiss, but nobody can tell you whether you’re kissing the right person or not.

One first thing you need to know when you learn how to French kiss is that the eye-contact is crucial. For instance, if you lean towards each other, make eye contact while doing so. But when you’re lips have touched close your eyes, to avoid some awkward looks. It is not advisable to look into your date’s eyes when you’ve already touched each other.

Plus, closing your eyes is far more romantic. Your lips should be slightly parted and you should definitely inhale through your mouth. One basic aspect when you learn how to French kiss is not to breathe on your date. No need to mention, that your breath has to be fresh: no smelly foods beforehand, like garlic, onion, coffee, cheese and so on.

It is important that your lips and then your tongue leave an impression of freshness on your partner. If you learn how to French kiss, then remember, that you anticipate such an intimate moment with other soft feathery kisses, keeping your tongue into your mouth. If you feel your date responding, then you may continue.

Once you’ve learned how to French kiss, you need to think about deciphering body as well. A French kiss is not always welcome and in order for you to avoid rejection, you’d better keep an eye open on other signals that your date may be sending. For instance, holding hands and soft touching are good signs.

What I should mention for people that want to learn how to French kiss, is that there are many ways in which you may do it, and that it very much depends from individual to individual. There are all sorts of situations and sometimes a French kiss doesn’t get you the fireworks you’ve expected. Well, it’s not the end of the world, bond emotionally first and then move forward.

About the Author: If you want to find out more about learn french resources please visit http://www.learnfrenchcritic.com

Source: www.isnare.com

Optimism vs. Pessimism
Some people see the glass as half empty.  Others see it as half full.  But is it really as simple as that?  Is it possible to be a bit of both? What are the advantages and disadvantages to both?  Maybe there is more to both mind-sets.

When you think about it, most people tend to be an optimist sometimes and a pessimist other times.  Ironically, a lot of times things turn out how the people tend to feel about them.  If a person feels like something will go well or feels optimistic about it, it usually seems to go well.
The same is true of the reverse.  When someone feels like something will go badly, it tends to do just that.

So why is this?

Henry Ford once said, "If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right!"  Does this mean that what we think about, whether positive or negative, tends to happen?
The only answer that I can really give to that is yes, but very basically.  We cannot simply think things into existence, no matter how optimistic we are, if that is all we do.  And when it comes down to it, that’s not really optimism, but delusion.

But then is there any real difference between pessimism and optimism if, when it comes down to it, the results aren’t any different?  The short answer is yes, with an added but.

Pessimism will tend to lead to bad outcomes, whether it is because you just think things will turn out poorly and thus do not take any action, or because the pessimism will color your actions and choices and as a result you tend to do things that will make the result what you expected, the bad outcome.

Now where the but comes in with optimism is that the mere act of thinking either optimistically or pessimistically will for the most part produce not much difference in outcome, with perhaps a slight edge to the optimist.
However, when you add positive, productive action to that optimism, this is when truly amazing things can happen.
You can be as optimistic as you want that you will find a way to get the money for that new car or new house, but unless you are including the productive action that helps to push things to that end, you will never get there.  The difference between only thinking optimistically and thinking optimistically while acting in a productive manner is kind of like saying to an empty fireplace "Give me warmth and then I will put some wood in you".

I once knew a woman who always said, "I would rather expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised on the rare occasion when good happens than be disappointed all the time".  This pessimistic attitude of hers has brought her nothing but misery and strife, and yet she still thinks it has nothing to do with her.  She does not realize that her pessimism is coloring her entire life and making the bad things she expects to happen actually happen. My response to her was always, "I would much prefer to expect the best and enjoy what life gives me than to constantly worry about how bad things are."  For a long time, we had the same results.
Then I realized that I needed to do my part and put positive, productive action behind my thoughts.  And while I am not where I want to be yet, I have moved much closer to it and have been much happier along the way.

So I would say to you: be optimistic!  Expect the best out of life!  Expecting the best out of life is better than being miserably pessimistic.  Above all though my optimistic friend,  don’t forget to do your part to not just think but also act optimistically.

—————————————————-
Nick Schultz has studied motivation and personal development for over a decade and firmly believes in the philosophy of "You can get anything you want, but helping enough other people to get what they want."  He runs a free site at http://www.wealthtreeseeds.com which features daily inspirational quotes and is working to include free courses on a variety of financial and personal development subjects for his subscribers.

Single Breath Meditation
By Rebbie Straubing

In less than a minute you can complete a single breath meditation session.  Start to finish, it will take you about 30 seconds.

Infinite Nows

There are as many instants of now in a minute as there are in an hour.  The now is infinite no matter how long you linger there.  Sometimes, when we sit to meditate for 20 minutes or longer, big segments of that time slot lose their immediacy.  We drift into default thinking and ride the shallow turbulence of our mental activity.  We miss the depth of the moment completely.

By narrowing the time of your meditation session to one breath, you send a message to your consciousness.  "This is your only chance.  Pay attention now or you’ll miss it!"  In the beginning, you may be amazed at how much your mind can wander even in the space of one breath.  Don’t worry about that.  It’s natural.

How can one breath provide any kind of practice at all?  For now, we want to go short and deep rather than long and shallow.  We want to be awake and aware for the simple matter of seconds it takes to complete one single cycle of breathing.  When you think about it, it seems manageable.  You may feel a surge of confidence.  "This is something I might actually be able to do!"  When you realize that each breath holds the hologram for all your breathing, you may begin to honor the power of one pure breath. When you sense that each now is nested within all nows, you realize that an instant of pure consciousness will take you further than a marathon of habit driven practice.

Who is Breathing?

In preparation for your brief session of meditation, consider this question: Who is breathing?  Then release the question completely into the nonverbal realm.  Accept no answers that come in words.  Let this question hover in the silence of your one breath.

No Effort

Let your one, single, on-stage, in-the-spotlight breath be completely natural.  Let it move at its own pace and achieve only the depth it seeks on its own.  Don’t force.  Don’t push. Don’t direct it.  Simply follow it.  It is the only breath you will be attending to in this way so give it all your attention.  There’s not enough time to get bored.  This is as easy as it gets.

Punctuation

When you are ready to begin, close your eyes.  Once you have completed one cycle of in and out (or out and in), open your eyes.  You’re done.

Using the opening and closing of your eyes to punctuate your session accomplishes two things.  It funnels your attention inward as your eyes close for your very brief chance at sensing this unique breath which will never occur again in all of creation.  It also makes distinct your session.  It tells your conscious mind that you have started something and you have completed it.

Unraveling

Distortions in our thinking create physical and emotional pain.  This single breath meditation is so simple and unintimidating that it does not create anxiety or inspire much resistance.  It does, however, begin the unraveling of deep patterns of distortion.  In a soft and gentle way, it loosens the ties that hold resistant thought-forms in place.  It creates little regions of space in your consciousness each time you do it.  In this way it begins to undo those templates that keep replicating your challenges.  It introduces tiny hints of freedom into physical and emotional areas of constriction.  Ultimately, this subtle sense of liberation filters down to your relationships, your health, your work, and more. It brings space, light, and openness.  It gives you some room to be yourself.

Cookies

These single breaths become like cookies.  They taste sweet, and once you have one you want another.  They are small and individual and you can have one as a treat or you can sit down with the whole box and meditate for an hour.

Copyright (c) 2006 Rebbie Straubing

To find out more about how to begin or deepen a meditation practice, read Dr. Rebbie Straubing’s book “Rooted in the Infinite: The Yoga of Alignment: YOFA™ Training for Spiritual Awareness, Healing, and Joyful Manifestation. ”You can get an instant FREE download of the first 29 pages of the book at http://RootedintheInfinite.com . Rebbie is a workshop leader, Abraham Coach, and spiritual writer. Her free e-course "7 Secrets for Manifesting Your Heart’s Desire" is available at http://www.YOFA.net

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rebbie_Straubing
http://EzineArticles.com/?Single-Breath-Meditation&id=342883

In this article today I want to share with you, my 3 top tips to look after your brain. The brain is one of those organs in the body that we can tend to forget when it comes to fitness.
Ask yourself – “Have you neglected the grey matter for too long?” If so, these tips will help your brain get into great shape in a very short period of time. Go easy on yourself - instead of trying to implement them all today, why not try and work them into you schedule over the coming days or even over the next fortnight. 

Ok here we go. 

1. Drink More Water. OK you may have heard me say this one before, however this is very important indeed! The brain is made up of 80% water and this water plays an essential part in its function. When we are dehydrated, we can reduce our sense of well-being and significantly reduce our performance and our learning. We are also seriously risking our long term mental health. On average, the human body can lose up to 2.5 litres of water per day. These losses are through the lungs, skin (sweat) and through our urine. We must aim to at least replenish this loss on a daily basis. Try drinking more water throughout the day and eating more fruit and vegetables, as these too are full of water. 

2. Eat the right fats for your brain! The brain is made up of a total of 60% fat, which includes – saturated fat and cholesterol. Now most of us may at first consider fat to be unhealthy, however there are some fats that our brains need to function normally. 20% of the brains fat should be made up of essential fatty acids or Omega-3 and Omega-6. These two essential fatty acids are important as they can not be made within your body, so you need to make sure that you are getting them from your diet. Eat oily fish as these are a well-known source of Omega-3 and Omega-6.

3. Exercise. Keep your brain fit by keeping your body in shape!
Scientists have shown us that regular exercise can massively reduce the effects of depression, anxiety and stress. In fact in a lot of cases, exercise can work just as well as anti-depressants. Keeping your grey matter happy will also keep it healthy! You can do this by introducing a daily brisk walk through the park or maybe take a dance class!

So there we have it! By increasing your water, eating the right amount of Omega-3 and Omega-6 and taking a daily brisk walk you will already be feeling great and looking forward to a bright future!

About The Author: Richard MacKenzie is a leader in the field of Hypnotherapy - http://www.richardmackenzie.co.uk For more information on Hypnosis check out his site - http://www.hypnotherapistfinder.com